I'd like to start out by saying that I am hardly ever sick. Yeah...a headache here or there...but the flu and colds just don't really come by me all too often. And I am really ok with that.
Yesterday, I did my morning routine...get up, let Max out to go potty, make my coffee, feed Max, and get my paper and pumping stuff and go sit in my spot on the couch. (Yeah, I'm not predictable AT ALL!! LOL!!) Anyway, I drank my coffee and got finished pumping, and noticed that my tummy wasn't feeling very good. Not lower, like crampy or anything like that...it just hurt under my boobs but above my belly button. It didn't hurt THAT bad...so I went about my day.
By the time I got in my car to go home from work...I felt like my intestines had literally been percolating ALL DAY!! You know...where even though the radio is on and you are driving 45 down the freeway (I'd like to say I was driving 65, but there is always a ton of traffic on my drive home, so we are lucky to get to 45) you can HEAR your stomach a rumbling!! NOT GOOD!!
I got home and immediately had to use the bathroom. I figured getting whatever was causing my upset stomach OUT, would make everything better. Well, it did make it better. For about an hour. UGH!! We went to this place up the road for dinner, and I figured if I ate something kind of bland, then surely my stomach would feel better. Hmmm....that ABLT (Avocado, Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato on white bread, no mayo) I ate...nope. Just made it ache even more. Once we got home, it was back to the bathroom I went. And then, I felt like I was in there every half hour or so. And when you can't tell the difference if you are peeing or pooping...well...that sucks!! Pepto Bismol was my friend last night. I would have totally thought that everything would have been out of my system...but first thing this morning...NOPE!! Seriously!! NOT FUN!!! And I know that I mentioned this in a previous blog of mine, but you know you are in trouble if you don't have the courage to fart because you are not 100% sure if only AIR will come out. THAT just SUCKS!! IDK...I kind of feel like my Large Intestine was sparring with my Small Intestine. Give me a break!! I'm seriously afraid to eat anything, so I had a bowl of cereal today for breakfast and a yogurt for lunch. Maybe the yogurt will let my flora flourish or some shit like that. (Excuse the pun!)
OK...they say shit or get off the pot...so from here on out...no more poop stories.
Did I tell you about our air conditioner? NO? Oh...what a story.
About a month ago, Levi, Eva, Elias, Liz, and James (I guess it must have been Easter) came over for dinner. The day was gorgeous...a rare thing on Easter!! Since Levi has M.S., I turned on the AC so that the house would be cool for him. A few hours later, I went over to one of the vents and noticed that the air was blowing, but that's all it was doing. Just blowing...NOT COLD. Just air. Hmmm...
A couple of days later, we had a heating and cooling guy come out and service the unit (since it had been almost 2 years) so they could make sure everything was in tip top shape. Everything looked great, but....
There was ZERO freon in the unit. Say Whaaa? How does freon just "go away?" So, the guy thinks that when Kent put up the wall to our work out room in the garage, he must have hit the copper freon line with one of his nails. SHIT!! NOT GOOD!! So, about 2 weeks go by and Kent starts looking for where he might have put a nail through the line. That involved taking the drywall down that he had put up a few weeks back, and listening for a small spoosh of air. He listened, and listened, and listened. No spoosh. So then we figured that maybe the cable dude that came out and hooked up the t.v. in the weight room might have hit the line on the outside while he was running his cable. So Kent starts cutting squares into the drywall, only to find that it's not the cable guys fault, AND it's not Kent's fault either. DUN DUN DUN.....mystery!!
So, today, the air conditioning guy comes back out and works and works at trying to detect a leak. And guess what. He couldn't find one. Zero/zilch/NADA!! So, if we add the 2 bills together, we just spent around 900 bones on finding absolutely nothing!! The guy did put freon back in...and there is a year warranty so that if it goes out again, then they will come back out. So that's a plus. But it's super baffling to not know why our freon disappeared. Oh, and by the way. It would have cost about 700 bucks to run a new copper line out to the unit. That's for the copper cost ONLY!! Talk about spendy!! Wonder how many pennies I would need to melt down to make that much copper. HAHAHAHAHA!!
This concludes today's shitty and HOT story!! Oh...and Happy Momma's day to all of you great momma's out there!! <3
Friday, May 11, 2012
Friday, May 4, 2012
UGH!!
When I first started this blog, I told you that it would be good therapy for me, right? I guess you are supposed to be able to tell your therapist everything, so starting today, my therapy is writing, and you (readers) are my therapist. And I suppose you dish your dirt to the therapist...no matter how mundane, or taboo.
In one of my first posts, I told how I was a fixer. I mentioned wanting to fix my children's problems, fix the homeless people that are on every corner, fix it so that NO babe would be without breast milk. But, one of the people that I have always tried to "fix" is my sister.
Ever since we were little, my sister and I have been very close. You would never think that she was 2 years older than I am. Why? Because I have always been the "older" sister in theory. And along with being the "older" sibling, I try to mother her. That, in itself, is my problem. I mother her.
Last night, I sent her a text, half joking, (although, I know there is always a half truth in everything one says) asking her if "Our house isn't good enough for her, anymore?" Back story for a moment...
My sister has been renting rooms for about 3 years now. She started renting from a gal in Lincoln City, and that didn't work out....so she rented another room from a couple in L.C. and lived there until she moved to Portland. She moved in with us for about a month or 2, and then moved in with a gal that Kent used to work with. From there, the gal got married and so the newlyweds preferred not to have a room mate. So Maryann looked on Craigslist and found a room for rent with a dude and they got along great. At first. Then, the dudes old roommates brother moved in. (Wrap your brain around THAT one!!) Things were going well, but then the 2 dudes started bickering and complaining about each other and seemed to put Maryann in the middle. Plus, the 2 dudes were pigs and M was bitching because she felt the need to clean up after them. So, she couldn't stand it anymore, and found a different room to rent of off Craigslist. She gave the new guy his rent money, spent one night there at the new house, and decided that she made a bad move (no pun intended). So, as we were talking about her moving into this new room, she told me that she was afraid to stay at the new place, alone, because when she went there with all of her things, the guy was drunk and somewhat belligerent. I told her to come stay the week at our house since Kent was out of town. I then talked to Kent and he told me no...there was no way he was going to let her stay with us again. Well, I may or may not have manipulated the situation, but he gave in, and said he would help her get on track with her life. So, in she moved.
Back to the text from last night. I was a little irritated with her because even though she is 42 years old, I still like to know if she is coming home for dinner or whatever. I like to be "in the know." I call it respect. You respect the person enough to tell them when and if they will be home. I would expect it from my children, and my husband, and I know they would expect it from me. So, I texted her the above, and she said that she was at Dean's watching movies until she had to go to work. (Dean is the person that took over her room at the place she moved out of where the 2 dudes couldn't get along.) Ummm. OK? YOU try making sense of this!!
So, the texts went like this:
Me- 'I know I am not your mother...and you are old enough to take care of yourself, but I do think it's rude to not tell me you won't be here for dinner. I mean, you probably didn't even come back here after your doctor's appt? Are we just a place to crash when you need it and it's convenient? I don't get it. I really don't.'
Her- 'You're right and I apologize. I guess I'm too used to being alone and I'd be sleeping if I was there. I know this'll sound ungrateful but I feel very uncomfortable there, I don't belong. As soon as I can, I need my own space so I can stop intruding in yours.'
I won't bore you with the other texts because there was a lot of profanity (on my part.)
I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated with her that at 42, she still doesn't have her shit together. I'm frustrated at me because at 40...I'm still trying to be her mother. Ashlyn told me this morning that I am frustrated with Maryann because I want her to have a good life, like mine.
But, as of today, and you all can help me be held accountable, I'm done mothering. She has a mother. And that isn't me. I guess you would call me an enabler? I enable her to be dependent on everybody but her. I can't do it anymore. Just like I can't fix my children's problems. And I can't fix the world. (I can't be like the ASPCA and spay and neuter everything and everybody.) HAHAHAHA!!! Sorry, a tiny bit of humor there.
My heart is heavy and still a little pissed off. But, I need to do what needs to be done. I can't look back, because it won't do me any good.
Thanks for listening to (reading) my frustration. I am open to constructive criticism if you have any ideas for me.
And Maryann...if you read this, please know that I love you and really want what's best for you. I know that you can be anything you want to be and you have the brains to do it. On your own. :)
In one of my first posts, I told how I was a fixer. I mentioned wanting to fix my children's problems, fix the homeless people that are on every corner, fix it so that NO babe would be without breast milk. But, one of the people that I have always tried to "fix" is my sister.
Ever since we were little, my sister and I have been very close. You would never think that she was 2 years older than I am. Why? Because I have always been the "older" sister in theory. And along with being the "older" sibling, I try to mother her. That, in itself, is my problem. I mother her.
Last night, I sent her a text, half joking, (although, I know there is always a half truth in everything one says) asking her if "Our house isn't good enough for her, anymore?" Back story for a moment...
My sister has been renting rooms for about 3 years now. She started renting from a gal in Lincoln City, and that didn't work out....so she rented another room from a couple in L.C. and lived there until she moved to Portland. She moved in with us for about a month or 2, and then moved in with a gal that Kent used to work with. From there, the gal got married and so the newlyweds preferred not to have a room mate. So Maryann looked on Craigslist and found a room for rent with a dude and they got along great. At first. Then, the dudes old roommates brother moved in. (Wrap your brain around THAT one!!) Things were going well, but then the 2 dudes started bickering and complaining about each other and seemed to put Maryann in the middle. Plus, the 2 dudes were pigs and M was bitching because she felt the need to clean up after them. So, she couldn't stand it anymore, and found a different room to rent of off Craigslist. She gave the new guy his rent money, spent one night there at the new house, and decided that she made a bad move (no pun intended). So, as we were talking about her moving into this new room, she told me that she was afraid to stay at the new place, alone, because when she went there with all of her things, the guy was drunk and somewhat belligerent. I told her to come stay the week at our house since Kent was out of town. I then talked to Kent and he told me no...there was no way he was going to let her stay with us again. Well, I may or may not have manipulated the situation, but he gave in, and said he would help her get on track with her life. So, in she moved.
Back to the text from last night. I was a little irritated with her because even though she is 42 years old, I still like to know if she is coming home for dinner or whatever. I like to be "in the know." I call it respect. You respect the person enough to tell them when and if they will be home. I would expect it from my children, and my husband, and I know they would expect it from me. So, I texted her the above, and she said that she was at Dean's watching movies until she had to go to work. (Dean is the person that took over her room at the place she moved out of where the 2 dudes couldn't get along.) Ummm. OK? YOU try making sense of this!!
So, the texts went like this:
Me- 'I know I am not your mother...and you are old enough to take care of yourself, but I do think it's rude to not tell me you won't be here for dinner. I mean, you probably didn't even come back here after your doctor's appt? Are we just a place to crash when you need it and it's convenient? I don't get it. I really don't.'
Her- 'You're right and I apologize. I guess I'm too used to being alone and I'd be sleeping if I was there. I know this'll sound ungrateful but I feel very uncomfortable there, I don't belong. As soon as I can, I need my own space so I can stop intruding in yours.'
I won't bore you with the other texts because there was a lot of profanity (on my part.)
I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated with her that at 42, she still doesn't have her shit together. I'm frustrated at me because at 40...I'm still trying to be her mother. Ashlyn told me this morning that I am frustrated with Maryann because I want her to have a good life, like mine.
But, as of today, and you all can help me be held accountable, I'm done mothering. She has a mother. And that isn't me. I guess you would call me an enabler? I enable her to be dependent on everybody but her. I can't do it anymore. Just like I can't fix my children's problems. And I can't fix the world. (I can't be like the ASPCA and spay and neuter everything and everybody.) HAHAHAHA!!! Sorry, a tiny bit of humor there.
My heart is heavy and still a little pissed off. But, I need to do what needs to be done. I can't look back, because it won't do me any good.
Thanks for listening to (reading) my frustration. I am open to constructive criticism if you have any ideas for me.
And Maryann...if you read this, please know that I love you and really want what's best for you. I know that you can be anything you want to be and you have the brains to do it. On your own. :)
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